I was pondering an experiment today, reckoning the death of thousands upon thousands of flies with mighty chemicals. Behind this building lodges itself prominently such a vast dumpster that you could hide two cars within itself, and inside this dumpster lies refuse and molded, rotten foods. Of course, you see that it is a haven for flies and no dirge singing will be enough to mourn them. I gnash my teeth over them in despair!

But I am talking of nothing, let me tell you what I was doing! Yes, that’s it! I was pondering these flies and how I come out and they barrage me with such tidy insults, such drivel and absurdity that I barely know how to cope.

“And how are you today?”, they say, weighting my shoulder with their friendly persistence. “And my what a fine bit of nose you have!”, they continue, as they examine my nose in closest proximity.

“But, we are not yet acquainted!”, I protest at their invasion of my personal space, and “Please do not pester me with your false pretenses!”, I say…

But, nonetheless, my cries and pleas are in vain, for these neighborly parasitic flies must nosily inquire of the nature of that spot on my shirt, and even dare to touch my lips! Bagh! My arms fling in agitation, driving these bugs off for just a minute, but they are relentless in their pursuits. So I vexed myself with a solution to their problem. Their demise: My only option.

So I began a battle plan, gathering maps and organizing artillery and such. But they responded little to the threat of my loyal Beretta, so I tried chemical warfare! Ha ha! I have even now sprayed their happy home with some such liquid to become their ultimate demise for certain, and I have placed blue magic pebbles in their feeding areas, so as to be sure they will die. Die, little flies, die!

So then, I returned this morning and to my astonished eyes found not a single fly anywhere. I have won, I say! Victory is mine! Etcetera! But to my ultimate sorrow, when I returned a few hours later, they had returned–with back-up forces. “Ah, so!”, said I, “It was the rain which washed away such blessed chemicals and gave you safe harbor.” And so I again fed them such toxins as to remove all doubt from their insignificant minds as to the power I do indeed posses. Such deliciously tempting treats I enticed them with, to sit overnight and they would all be dead, I assure you!

But now, after all my plans have been laid, after all my schemes have been put into motion again, it started raining.